Monday, May 6, 2013

Iron Man 3, The Big Wedding & The Lords of Salem

Iron Man 3. I've seen it twice. The first time I saw it I was in one of our newly renovated theatres at AMC Lake in the Hills 12. The renovations of our 4 largest theatres are complete. We've got the new recliners, speakers and screens, new carpeting and fresh paint. Just beautiful! So I'm sitting there alone watching this blockbuster of a movie. The special effects are amazing. The sound is blasting right thru me, rattling my comfortable chair. I guess I could've been watching monkeys dance around explosions and I would've been in heaven. It was a fun movie and I laughed a lot. Some of the jokes fell short but I didn't care. The 2nd time I viewed this movie (later that same day) I caught more of these flaws. But who cares, just enjoy the damn movie. :) The Big Wedding. Or The Big Steamy Pile. On a positive note, I enjoyed seeing this ensemble cast together making the best of this ridiculously unrealistic material. These characters simply do not exist in the real world. Some of the scenes were so awkward and uncomfortable I was embarrassed for the human race. I went to IMDB and researched this incapable writer and director, Justen Zackham. He also wrote The Bucket List. Need I say more? Who green lighted this project? I'd love to meet them so we can get started on making an actual good movie. Steamy pile: 1, Quality material: 0. The Lords of Salem. Rob Zombie's latest horror movie is milder than his previous movies, and filmed at a much more deliberately relaxed pace. His wife is the lead actress, well, the lead anyway. Not much acting going on with her, but hey, she's hot. Watching this movie is like an acid trip. Some of the shots are very strange, often shocking and quite effective at creating an uneasy mood. I saw way too many old ladies completely nude, and I really didn't know what the hell was going on, but I was never bored. I think R.Z is experimenting while maturing. We shall see what he has in store for us next...

Thursday, April 18, 2013


I just want to be free. But I don't know how to stop The Powers That Be from taking my freedom bit by bit, little by little, day by day. Why do they want my freedom anyway? They've got their own. Just enjoy it and leave mine alone. But they can't, can they? They've got their bony little fingers all up in everybody's bidness. Ain't nobody got time fo dat! If I were president I'd enjoy my freedom and allow all y'all's to do the same. Of course I wouldn't know what to do with all these other crazy countries with their own weirdo cultures. I guess I'd just ask them what they want. You want pizza, hot dogs, apple pie? Sure, here ya go. Of course I'd tell them what they're really getting is diabetes. Truth and honesty! What a concept! You want to just be left alone? Sure, we can do that. No problem. Sounds pretty simple, doesn't it? Mostly what I would give them would be respect. But what they can't have is my freedom. That's mine.

Thursday, March 21, 2013

The Worst Films of All Time Volume One

It's 2013 and it's time to discuss: The Worst Films of All Time! What fun! Let's start with 10 films and discuss some others later. WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING: While you were sleeping through this movie, you didn't miss a thing! MIAMI VICE: With none of the spirit of the original series, this movie is dark, dreary and dead! CONGO: Long before there was Jar Jar Binks, there was Amy the talking ape. Following the immensely popular and visually stunning Jurassic Park, this movie, also based on a Crichton novel, didn't have a chance in hell! WILLOW: When Ron Howard and George Lucas join forces, we expect a lot more than this mess! The audience was in uproarious laughter every time the 2 little men came on screen and frolicked and joked. Ugh! I just wanted to stomp them to death! Peace and Love! GET SMART: More like, Get Stupid! Steve Carrell's darkest moment. PERFECT GETAWAY: Ok, so Jon Favreau wrote Swingers, one of the great screenplays of all time. Vince Vaughn and the rest of the cast were brilliantly hilarious in it. Then comes Perfect Getaway??? Whaaaat? This group of friends simply went on vacation and turned a camera on. They had a blast. We were miserable, jealous and pissed off. Case closed. MAMMA MIA: Meryl Streep and Pierce Brosnan can't sing. I wanted to pluck my eyeballs out and stuff them in my ears. XANADU: Great music. Shitty movie. DOUBLE TEAM: LOL Funny! Do not miss this action packed gem starring Van Damme, Dennis Rodman, Mickey Rourke and of course, the tiger! Raaaaahr! TWILIGHT: BREAKING DAWN PART 2: We can include all of these movies on this list, but this is the last one I saw, and the last one that pissed me off. Thank God it's over! Terrible acting, pathetic story, and literally nothing happens. I want my time and money back. Not since TV's "Lost" have I felt so cheated. Do you agree or disagree? Have a nice day and make it a Bob-Buster Night!

Sunday, October 7, 2012

Dark Shadows 2012

I enjoyed this movie quite a bit. I was skeptical about this particular project from the visual stunner Tim Burton, but he managed to impress me again. Johnny Depp is of course on top of his game as Barnabas Collins. The movie mostly takes place in 1972 and is punctuated from music from that year. Highly entertaining and often hilarious. Another home run for Burton and Depp. Enjoy! Make it a Bob-buster night.

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Snow White & The Dictator

September 27, 2012. What happens when you throw Bella, Thor, and Monster in a movie together? Well, it sounds like a recipe for success but I was unimpressed by this reimagining of The Snow White classic. I guess that they wanted to make a serious, darker version like Kevin Costner's Robin Hood, but it lacked charm, wit and whimsy. Although they wanted a darker version, it's still an adventure, right? And adventures are supposed to be fun! This movie wasn't fun, or funny, or even clever. No dwarves to be found. At least the dwarves had personalities, were amusing, engaging and made us smile. Everyone overacts, no doubt trying to overcompensate for this pitiful script. Watch any other version of this please! Hell, read the children's book. ;) The Dictator is Sacha Baron Cohen's weakest film to date, with the fewest laughs. I do look forward to his next project. This guy is so talented, we can forgive this misstep. I even forgave him for dumping ashes on Ryan Seacrest on the Oscar Red Carpet. Shame on you Sacha, but don't ever stop pushing the limits. So I rented these both from Blockbuster. Yes, there's one still open. And it seems I'm 0 for 2 this time. (Sigh) Movies are a gamble. Better luck next time. Make It A Bob-Buster Night!

Saturday, September 15, 2012


September 26, 2008 With October on the's certainly time for... Bob's list of... THE BEST HORROR MOVIES OF ALL TIME!!! (Muhahahahaha!) JOHN CARPENTER'S HALLOWEEN (1978) - DUH! THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT - A true original and horrifying to boot! Love these movie makin' dudes! We need more! THE EXORCIST - The catholics encouraged the filmmakers to make this one extra scary to promote more church go-ers. The masses must have been overflowing into the parking lots. THE SHINING - Creepy dead hotel staff and horrible naughty twin girls. Yuck! FRIDAY THE 13TH - chee chee chee ha ha ha A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET - One two Freddy's comin'.... SESSION 9 - Scared me silly. High creep factor. Filmed in a real abandoned mental institution. CARRIE - The Brian Depalma classic of the Stephen King novel. Sissy Spacek and Piper Laurie are expertly cast! BLACK CHRISTMAS (1975) - Scary stuff and way better than the remake! (although loved the disgusting plot and major gore of the latest version) SCREAM - With an homage to all the great horror flicks, I had to include this! HELL NIGHT (1981) - Love this little unknown Linda Blair flick! Great direction and the best damned location for a horror film ever! NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD - The original classic must have scared the living hell out of people back in the day, and still does... DEAD END - Awesome road to nowhere flick - funny and spooky! THE OMEN - Little Damian causes Big terror! ROSEMARY'S BABY - Having the devil's baby is never a good thing. CARNIVAL OF SOULS - Old creepy classic! Truly chilling! THE STRANGERS - The most recent horror flick to make me afraid of my own shadow. Relentless terror that will destroy your soul! WHEN A STRANGER CALLS (1979) - This original will keep you awake at night. I weep for babysitters everywhere. MUTE WITNESS - Working on a slasher film can be murder! Plenty of suspense! BAD DREAMS - Andrew Fleming's first great step into his super entertaining film making career. Other Myspace Buddy Contributions: AMITYVILLE HORROR (1979) DEVIL'S REJECTS CHILDREN OF THE CORN THE GRUDGE FINAL DESTINATION THE HITCHER (1986) HELLRAISER SAW ALIEN PSYCHO JEEPERS CREEPERS

KOSBEES! Kosbees One of the funniest things ever!!!